Denver Sports Omelette: The Colorado Rapids are one of the worst soccer clubs in the world

Jack Dempsey, The Associated Press Colorado Rapids goalkeeper Tim Howard lets a goal slip past off the foot of Portland Timbers forward Samuel Armenteros during the first half of an MLS soccer match Saturday, May 26, 2018, in Commerce City, Colo.

Want to watch one of the worst professional soccer clubs in the world?

Take a trip to Commerce City on Wednesday to watch the Rapids host the Chicago Fire. scours the globe every week to rank just about every noteworthy soccer club from the United States to Turkey, Norway to Argentina and everywhere in-between. No. 1 this week? Bayern Munich. Coming in at No. 452 out of 464? Your Colorado Rapids, falling four spots to oust Minnesota for the worst MLS team.

It’s no secret the Rapids’ play has been poor this season under first-year coach Anthony Hudson. They’ve lost a club record eight consecutive MLS matches, and nine total contests when factoring in the 2-0 defeat at Nashville of the second-tier USL in the U.S. Open Cup. But are they really one of the worst clubs in the world? They have Tim Howard on their roster, for Pele’s sake!

Turns out, yes.

Having one of the biggest stars in U.S. soccer history in goal isn’t going to help you when your offense is inept, and that’s Colorado’s biggest issue.

FiveThirtyEight’s rankings are based on goals scored, adjusted goals, shot-based expected goals and non-shot expected goals. The Rapids’ offensive rating of 0.7 ranks them 453rd in the world. Defensively, they’re a smidgen better at No. 421, and have eight MLS teams ranked behind them. Colorado has managed one shot on goal across its past two matches (none against Nashville) and its 49 SOG this season in MLS play is the league’s second-worst mark.

Maybe taking a break for two weeks to watch World Cup pool play will give this team a chance to learn what good soccer looks like, because whatever is happening up at Dick’s Sporting Goods Park is anything but.

What’s on tap?

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Quick Hits

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+ How can the Colorado Rockies fix their woeful bullpen? Mark Kiszla answered this and more in Monday’s Lunch Special.

+ Blake Stenstrom eager to join the Colorado Buffaloes football program.

+ Tiger Woods remains an enigma entering the U.S. Open.

By The Numbers

The number of things Kyle Fredrickson has for you to watch as Broncos mandatory minicamp starts. Read more…

Parting Shot
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Von Miller loves dancing. That’s no secret. So when Bull Moose, one of the mascots of the Frisco Roughriders challenged him to a dance off, it was on. Read more…

Get in Touch

If you see something that’s cause for question or have a comment, thought or suggestion, email me at or tweet me @danielboniface.

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